What to Do When a Parent Dies: A Gentle Checklist for the First Three Days

If you are reading this because you just lost someone, we are so sorry. You do not have to do everything today. Take this one step at a time.

The first days after a parent dies are a blur. Most families don't know who to call, where the papers are, or what has to happen right away. And most parents never wrote it down: in a 2025 national survey, only 24% of Americans said they have a will.¹ This simple checklist covers what truly matters in the first three days, and what can safely wait.

Day one: the people come first

1. Make sure everyone is safe. Check on anyone who depended on your parent: a spouse, children, or pets.
2. Call close family. Ask one trusted person to help you make calls, so it doesn't all fall on you.
3. Contact a funeral home. If your parent died at home and was not under hospice care, call 911 first. If they were in hospice, call the hospice nurse. The funeral home will guide you through what comes next.
4. Look for written wishes. Check for a will, a prepaid funeral plan, or notes about what they wanted.

Day two: find the important papers

• The will or trust, and the name of the lawyer, if there is one
• Life insurance policies
• Bank and retirement account statements
• The deed or lease to the home
• Their ID, Social Security card, and marriage or military papers

This is usually the hardest part. Papers are often spread across drawers, files, email and phones. Write down where you find each one so no one has to search twice.

Day three: protect the home and the money

1. Secure the home. Lock the doors, keep the heat and power on, and collect the mail.
2. Order death certificates. Ask the funeral home for several certified copies. Banks, insurers and government offices each usually want their own.
3. Ask about Social Security. According to the Social Security Administration, funeral homes generally report the death for you. If no funeral home is involved, call Social Security at 1-800-772-1213. A surviving spouse may qualify for a one-time $255 payment and survivor benefits.²
4. Don't rush to close accounts. Bills that pay automatically can keep the house running for now.
5. Make a simple list of every bank, policy and bill you find. You'll need it in the weeks ahead.

What can wait

Sorting belongings, selling the house, and most paperwork can wait weeks or even months. Rest. Eat. Let people help you.

The kindest thing a parent can leave

Nearly every step above is easier when someone wrote it all down ahead of time: who to call, where the papers are, and what they wanted. That is exactly why we made Kept & Known.

Sources

1. Caring.com, 2025 Will and Estate Planning Survey
2. Social Security Administration, When someone dies

This guide is general information, not legal or financial advice. Rules vary by state. For legal questions, please speak with an estate attorney.